Sex

I could have come up with some interesting title for this post, but "Sex" pretty much gets the job done, doesn't it? It's one of those words you overhear in someone else's conversation that makes you listen for more. It's a topic that can cause excitement, embarrassment, awkwardness, or any number of other emotions depending on the context. I'm going to tackle sex. Wow. There's some awkwardness for you. We'll see how I deal with the other emotions the rest of the way.

Our culture is absolutely obsessed with sex. I'm convinced that without premarital sex, heavy drinking would greatly decrease (at least in the college scene). It's absolutely one of those things that our culture has made an idol. A goal in itself. Man, I can't wait to get some tail tonight. Hopping around from girl to girl (sorry I'm picking on you, guys, but let's face it....I think you know what I'm talking about), thinking you're a stud. Probably not God's picture.

But sex doesn't always have to be evil. "Contrary to [what some believe], sex is not a sin. Contrary to Hugh Hefner, it's not salvation either." ~Frederick Buechner. I don't know who that guy is (it's a quote from the book Kayla and I are using in our premarital class), but I thought that was pretty cool. God didn't create sex to tempt us or to cause us to stumble. That's what we've made it to be. He created it to glorify Himself. He created it for our pleasure. He created it for us to multiply. He created it to strengthen a marriage bond.

Let's look at God's purposes for sex. The marriage consummation: "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." ~Genesis 2:24. It serves to further unify a married couple. Just one more step in making sure the vows to love one another til death do them part are fulfilled. This sexual relationship must be more than physical. God didn't prescribe hook-ups. It must also be emotional. But is must be more than emotional as well. Loving your boyfriend isn't enough reason to participate in sex with him. After all, the two of you are made one flesh. How many people can you become one with? Some certainly seek to find out exactly how many. What I'm getting at is it must be a spiritual experience as well. It might be kind of weird at first to think that God is also involved in this activity (there's some more awkwardness for ya), but it's true. He created it. It is used to glorify Him through a physical display of a man's love for his wife and a woman's love for her husband. Marital sex is the only form of sex God desires for us. Because whether or not we understand it, God's commands serve His purposes.

How about children. Everyone loves babies (and if you don't, now's a good time to hold your tongue)! "God blessed them and said to them, 'Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it.'" ~Genesis 1:28. Have children. Boom. That's a purpose for sex. God uses it to create more of us! "Sons are a heritage from the Lord, children a reward from Him. Like arrows in the hands of a warrior are sons born in one's youth. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them." ~Ps. 127: 3-5. I can't really say it much better than that, so I won't try. But look at some pictures of babies and you'll be excited!

What is the most pursued thing in this world? Pleasure. Yep, sex can do that for you, too (this is the part where you're either excited or embarrassed. Maybe both, secretly). "May your fountain be blessed, and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth. A loving doe, a graceful deer--may her breasts satisfy you always, may you ever be captivated by her love." ~Prov. 5:18-19. Not enough evidence? Read Songs of Solomon. That dude liked breasts. Sex is pleasurable. If it weren't, there wouldn't be so much of it. But God created us for pleasure. Ultimately, we are to take our pleasure in Him. Again, sex glorifies God (when used appropriately). So when you're having sex (awkward), don't make it your god, but lift it up to God. Praise Him for the beautiful wife you hold and thank Him for the experiences you share.

Sex in marriage isn't evil, or something to hide. I mean, don't do it in public, but don't be embarrassed that it's happening. "The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a short time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control." ~1 Corinthians 7:2-5. There it is. Paul is telling married couples to have sex. It serves God's purposes. It allows us to focus on Him. It should happen regularly. Frequent sex with your spouse will help prevent yearnings for adultery. We are sinful creatures, and if not satisfied by our spouse, we will seek this pleasure elsewhere.

Sex is a glorious thing. After all, God created it for His good. I hope you all felt excited, embarrassed, and awkward. Sounds like the description of any good wedding night. Just don't be fooled into thinking that (marital) sex is a sin or salvation. Keep in mind God's purposes. Share with someone your struggles. It's not an easy fight. Whether you're struggling giving up sex with your boyfriend or a guy that struggles with pornography, I guarantee you there's a strong Christian that was once in your shoes. Talk to me. Let me love you. Let someone else love you. Do not be afraid to share your sin. They have no power to judge you, and your only Judge already knows. Repent, learn, seek. It's a journey well-traveled. Sex is a powerful tool, whether we allow it to be wielded by God or Satan. Give God the power. Find your strength in Him. Trust and follow His commands, and you will glorify Him.